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ABSOLUT
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neurons

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total descendants::
total children::74
18 K

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illych ramirez0
strunka0
Jay to the Zee0
halucigenia0
Yiig0
_zajo_0
Ulotrich0
Lester0
gizo0
Rience0
wasteman0
ip0
Schammar0
olgoj chorchoj0
matho0
maughli0
shp_srk0
Kluk co se m...0
nyota0
Wonderik0
bruno0
P.L.C.0
FLESh0
mammothica0
mnemonic1
p4r4nojko1
|1
ld:l1
valika1
lubomier.sk1
AmIprincess?1
soso1
.NarayaN.1
DzejAr1
Tsuni2
m4r3k2
miloo2
wb2
vortex2
nika2
cuco2
ian carry3
squartefaghoui3
chinese apple5
vezir5
even5
ππ5
triyen5
2bk5
wfcella5
lts5
KaT6
ondreee6
dark tao8
Rotting_Orchard9
Burial9
palinger11
3k16
Faun22
horalky24
.:stigma:.33
milos38
mmad45
Shadovv45
Badas52





the spirit of Chuck
Zly POLIS - ZLYPO

THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD

35 AD - The original Jesus dies. "DAD, WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME? BOO-HOO, IM A BIG WET VAGINA."

36-1939 AD - Nothing really happens.

March 10th, 1940 - 12:05 AM - Chuck Norris is born on Christmas day (March 10th, 1940) in a Ryan, Oklahoma manger to a virgin mother. The old Christmas, December 25, is never celebrated again.

March 10th, 1940 - 12:06 AM - Norris' legendary beard/mustashe combo already surpases that of his father.

March 11th, 1940- The Three Wise Men visit the manger - Norris' first words: "I don't need your charity you pinko-commie bastards."

1941- His first round house kick fells rival baby at day care. That baby grows up to be impotent.

1944 - as a toddler Chuck first exhibits his supernatural powers by lifting a fallen tractor off his virgin father

1947- Does his first rep on the Total Gym JR ™ .

1948 - at age 8 chuck is the youngest Jesus to ever earn his level one black belt (the previous youngest, at age 12, was Funk K. Jesus)

1953 - earns level 15 black belt by kicking his instructor's head off

1955 - eats a whole pizza pie in one sitting

1957 - at age 17, Chuck enters rebelious teenage period of his life. Indulges in drunken all-night karate show-downs and pulls a still beating heart from one opponent's chest

1958 - in a drunken rage, he digs up the first Jesus' grave and kicks the shit out of his ancient bones

1959 - Performs his first of many miracles - turns own urine into beer; drinking buddies (George Bush Jr.) delighted

1963 - turns Japanese (then quickly back)

1969 - lands on the moon ahead of Neil Armstrong to assure his safety

1970 - frees every American prisoner of war from Vietnam under the codename "Braddock"

1975 - busts all the ghosts at Studio 54 and stays on to dance with the ladies

1980- Pontious Jimmy Carter tries to crucify Norris. Noris doesn't use any of that "why have thou forsaken me?" bullcrap; instead he quickly roundhouses Carter out of a second term.

1981- Chuck rejoices, with the world, at the birth of a child. A child named Snuggles...

1985 - After seeing a vision from God (Val Kilmer as "Iceman" in Top Gun) Chuck Norris enters his infamous flat top period

1989 - Berlin wall comes down. Soviet soldier's first sight of West Berlin: Chuck Norris with a hard look on his face. God-less communists quickly crumble due to fear.

1991- kicks the shit out of drugs

1993 - makes cinematic history with the masterpiece "Forest Warrior"

1994 - unleashes a fury of round houses so rapidly that he travels back in time

1995 - marries some ho

1999 - punches through a brick wall and dodges a full clip of bullets

Sept 11, 2001 - has one long, continous orgasm... all day

2003 - resolves U.S- Iraq war by beating up all the cock-gobbling protestors on the home front

Future (as predicted by scripture) -

2007 - brings about world peace (finally) - also, permanently gets rid of drugs

2011 - Single handedly puts down the robot uprising. Terminator scenario averted.

2013 - (August)- Cruscified, rises, blah blah blah...

2013 - (Sept) - Ascends into heaven - seated at the right hand side of God (the old Jesus is demoted).

http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/

http://www.chuckynorris.com/


alebo Wolkr Tex rejndzr


Verba ita sunt intelligenda, ut res magis valeat quam perea...




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P.L.C.
 P.L.C.      15.01.2014 - 20:00:19 , level: 1, UP   NEW
Chuck Norris uses Bitcoins. Cash!

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Kluk co se mu rika vrana
 Kluk co se mu rika vrana      29.06.2012 - 08:02:59 , level: 1, UP   NEW
1988819032_n.jpg

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lubomier.sk
 lubomier.sk      28.12.2010 - 16:00:25 [1K] , level: 1, UP   NEW
Chuck Norris sa raz zjavil Panne Márii.

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~
 ~      26.10.2010 - 01:44:38 , level: 1, UP   NEW
Chuck Norris dokaze prestrihnut kabel od WiFi.

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bruno
 bruno      31.08.2010 - 01:47:48 , level: 1, UP   NEW
http://chuckoogle.com/?gclid=CKLNg6ix4qMCFRU03wod4BopPQ

Verba ita sunt intelligenda, ut res magis valeat quam perea...

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SYNAPSE CREATOR
 shulo      03.12.2009 - 15:40:26 [19K] , level: 1, UP   NEW  HARDLINK
a88d88814910cab591d0e8eda4aabbbf.jpg

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maughli
 maughli      20.01.2009 - 23:14:37 , level: 1, UP   NEW
1. google.co.uk

2. pokial ti nabehne slovencina, klikni tam dole na odkaz "in english"

3. napis "Google Chuck Norris" (bez uvodzoviek)

4. a daj i'm feeling lucky

a kym mi stihnes dat K umres od smiechu

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nebulus
 nebulus      21.01.2009 - 00:26:53 , level: 2, UP   NEW
bolo...

Must flow...

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maughli
 maughli      12.11.2008 - 00:02:45 , level: 1, UP   NEW

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maughli
 maughli      12.11.2008 - 00:00:26 (modif: 12.11.2008 - 00:01:45), level: 1, UP   NEW !!CONTENT CHANGED!!
http://www.slapyo.com/wp-content/chuck_wow.jpg

http://i67.photobucket.com/albums/h293/thenamesjimjones/Chuck-Norris.jpg

http://neatorama.cachefly.net/images/2008-01/chuck-norris-split-rock.jpg

http://halbot.haluze.sk/images/2008-06/4258_chuckXcomesXtoXplay.jpg

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DzejAr
 DzejAr      08.11.2008 - 18:14:51 , level: 1, UP   NEW
Prečo Chucka Norrisa už týždeň nikto nevidel?
Lebo práve zametá Saharu.

Why so serious?

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chatNOIR
 chatNOIR      01.07.2008 - 00:18:52 [2K] , level: 1, UP   NEW








nemóžem.)

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bruno
 bruno      01.07.2008 - 14:32:46 , level: 2, UP   NEW
...
na tej prvej fotke je kruty (:

Verba ita sunt intelligenda, ut res magis valeat quam perea...

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DzejAr
 DzejAr      28.06.2008 - 13:57:30 [1K] , level: 1, UP   NEW
:D
Chcuk Norris vyskočil z prvého poschodia na šieste.

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DzejAr
 DzejAr      10.06.2008 - 21:22:56 (modif: 10.06.2008 - 21:23:08), level: 1, UP   NEW !!CONTENT CHANGED!!

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HuKer
 HuKer      22.05.2008 - 10:44:34 [6K] , level: 1, UP   NEW
Kdo se směje naposledy, tomu řekl vtip Chuck Norris.

Co znamená zkratka CIA? Chuck in action.

Chuck Norris dokáže z písku postavit sněhuláka.

Většina lidí má slepé střevo, Chuck Norris má střevo, které vidí.

Chuck Norris doma neuklízí. Špína se bojí překročit práh jeho domu.

Chuck Norris vyhrál Tour de France na rotopedu.

Chuck Norris nechodí na houby, vycvičil si je, aby se samy hlásily u
dveří jeho domu.

Chuck Norris ve škole nemusel počítat. Napsal výsledek a učitelka
podle něho udělala příklad.

Chuck Norris umí vykopnout dveře směrem k sobě.

Chuck Norris se už třikrát úspěšně pokusil o sebevraždu.

Chuck Norris za sebou nikdy nezavírá dveře. Projde-li Chuck dveřmi,již
není co zavírat.

Většina lidí umí vyčůrat své jméno do sněhu. Chuck Norris umí vyčůrat
své jméno do betonu.

Chuck Norris dokáže zaběhnout dvanáctiminutovku za šest minut.

Chuck Norris dojel na konec kruhového objezdu.

Chuck Norris umí cokoli rozdělit na tři půlky.

Jednou použil Chuck Norris při souloži prezervativ. Prezervativ otěhotněl.

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Ozmar
 Ozmar      14.04.2008 - 10:07:42 [3K] , level: 1, UP   NEW
There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

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108
 108      12.04.2008 - 12:24:20 , level: 1, UP   NEW
Kniha The Truth About Chuck Norris... je mozne to niekde stiahnut?:)

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bruno
 bruno      10.04.2008 - 09:42:08 , level: 1, UP   NEW
...
God said let there be light, Chuck Noris said say please.

Verba ita sunt intelligenda, ut res magis valeat quam perea...

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bruno
 bruno      10.04.2008 - 09:40:55 , level: 1, UP   NEW
...
http://www.duckshit.com/chuck-norris-jokes/
http://www.duckshit.com/online/chuck-norris-jokes/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pdsTUcuD7YA&eurl=http://www.duckshit.com/online/chuck-norris-jokes/

Verba ita sunt intelligenda, ut res magis valeat quam perea...

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nika
 nika      12.03.2008 - 23:21:34 , level: 1, UP   NEW
najvacsi lol jak sa tam nakonci vzdy z chuti zasmeju

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ππ
 ππ      03.09.2009 - 15:34:37 , level: 2, UP   NEW
:D

I'm too sexy for my shirt
Too sexy for my shirt
So sexy it hurts

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soso
 soso      20.02.2008 - 23:07:47 , level: 1, UP   NEW
Chuck Norris, sa narodil v zrube, ktory sam postavil!

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SYNAPSE CREATOR
 vx      20.02.2008 - 20:37:16 [1K] , level: 1, UP   NEW  HARDLINK

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chatNOIR
 chatNOIR      12.02.2008 - 11:28:37 , level: 1, UP   NEW
...

zahada chybajuceho obrazku..
Chuck sa asi naozaj pozera..
a vidi..
ak sa mi nahodou nieco stane,
chcem, aby moje veci dostal
Ranger Trivet:)
L.

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chatNOIR
 chatNOIR      11.02.2008 - 10:02:00 [3K] , level: 1, UP   NEW

teda nie 400...










povodny serial s Chuckom, ktory zli ludia vykradli a prerobili na nespocetne vela nekvalitnych zlatanin..


dolezite pre dopravu, ked bude Chuck pozadu utekat na kresle..


pssssst.enjoy the silence


jediny krat.Chuck porazeny Brucom Leem.najnakladnejsia scena v historii specialnych efektov.

a tak:)


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bruno
 bruno      11.02.2008 - 11:44:19 (modif: 11.02.2008 - 11:44:27), level: 2, UP   NEW !!CONTENT CHANGED!!
...
rofl

tp s tym piss contest je peklo

Verba ita sunt intelligenda, ut res magis valeat quam perea...

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Dado.
 Dado.      08.02.2008 - 08:21:38 , level: 1, UP   NEW
Chuck raz stihol zjest tortu skorej jak mu povedali ze je v nom stripterka..

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maughli
 maughli      09.02.2008 - 19:49:05 , level: 2, UP   NEW
:D:D:D
ten torta xD

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wfcella
 wfcella      06.01.2008 - 00:41:49 [2K] , level: 1, UP   NEW
chuck je schopny fotosyntezy

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Angus MacGyver
 Angus MacGyver      13.09.2007 - 21:56:12 , level: 1, UP   NEW
ked budem velky chcem byt ako chuck...

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VirtualVoid
 VirtualVoid      18.07.2007 - 20:06:47 , level: 1, UP   NEW
...keby sa chuck norris dozvie o tejto sajte tak zlikviduje internet!


ROFLOL